Important things to remember about relationships and/or marriage

My father passed away in June. My parents had been married 51 years. In the past few years I've really begun to realize how wise they were. I also realized I hadn't passed on that wisdom to some very important young people in my life. So here is what I have, so far:

Your spiritual relationship with God/a higher power/miraculous scientific principal comes first. Then marriage maintenance. Then any kids. If your marriage is strong you have energy left over for the kids. And my parents always pointed out that marriage maintenance was something you had to really work at. Every day.

Never, ever call each other a name. I'm not talking about sweet-talk. I mean name calling and labeling. Don't do it. Say "I'm not understanding you!" instead. "Even, I feel mad because of "

Always plan ahead with your finances. What will your upcoming expenses be in the next 5 years? A car? A baby? College for the kids? Make a plan to set aside for that plus set aside x amount each month for emergencies (handy tip: I still have $50 each month automatically moved from checking to savings. It really helps. Especially in this economy where you can't get a good percentage rate on anything)

Yes, still have 3 months living expenses squirreled away in case a job goes south. (I don't know if I'll ever reacy that! ARgh!)

Find something to do together that enriches you both. For my folks it was the ministry of music in my growing-up church. And regular attendance at the symphony. For Dad it was the history of the automobile (and Mom enjoyed the outings to the car shows so it worked out)

You have a right to all the money you earn, inherit, or win. With that right comes the responsibility to use that money wisely.

Keep your sense of humor - even if you're dying inside.

Rejoice each day. Feel any other feelings that day, too. Mostly, rejoice in the day.

The only secrets you should keep are presents and any thoughts you might have about ever calling your spouse a name - or worse! ;-)