Monday, December 17, 2007

Iowa Caucus Drinking Game - 1

But enough of this 6 steps for now. It's time to Get Serious. It's time to spend a few weeks preparing ourselves for that most wondrous of events, the glory of our hearts, the rock of our souls: The Iowa Caucus. And, more importantly, the Iowa Caucus Drinking game. Now I haven't thought this completely through and, being a non-drinker just now I may have to improvise on the usual game rules.

So let's start with the improvised NA rules - please feel free to play by the traditional rules as well:
1 sip = 1 point, etc.
1 shot = 10 points
2 shots = 20 points, etc
1 shot+1 sip = 11 points
Chug your drink = 1000 pts
Chug your drink, grab the bottle and slam it down = 5000 pts plus one trip to the hospital

In this modern day and age, I would suggest a random shuffling between "live coverage" stations for the evening. 5 minutes each, then switch. I'm sure some of you have remotes that allow you to go to 5-10 distinct stations without having to reprogram all your favorites? Or maybe just for the night, I dunno.

Hit a commercial? Everybody but the person with the remote loses the next turn. The person with the remote loses 2 turns. Best to circulate the remote, gentlemen.

Optional: Choose 3 or 4 newsfeeds or websites for ongoing coverage, switch and refresh every 5 minutes.

To begin:
Live remote from Prairie Lights Bookstore in Iowa City: 1 sip
Live remote from Danish Immigrant Museum in Red Oak: 1 shot

Interview at the local Kiwanis, Elks, Moose, KofC, other fraternal lodge or non-educational, non-religious venue: 1 sip
Interview at a Flying J truckstop: 2 sips
Interview at a random truckstop and/or diner: 3 sips
Interview at my aunt and uncle's truckstop on Highway 1 near Cantril: 5 shots and some aspirin

Please feel free to contribute. Especially in the areas of mispronounciation and potatoes.


Unknown said...

I get it - it's like that drinking game to How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Every time the word "who" is mentioned, you chug.

Three shots for each time Bill Clinton is mentioned.

A pint of Guinness for every mention of minority vote in the same sentence as the word "Obama".

A sip for every time the Mormon faith comes up.

A shot for every time religion in general is brought up (if Mormonism is mentioned, you get both a sip and a shot.)

zirelda said...

You know, that could almost make politics bearable.....