Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Saturday, April 26, 2008

The Big Snark-off!

Yes, it's that time again, kiddies.

But first, let me regale my reader with some great Cat stuff.

Friday Videos: An Engineer’s Guide to Cats
from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

And speaking of cats, who knew Pope Benedict was a life-long cat lover? He's no John Paul II, but this Protestant has finally given him some points for character! Now a new book about his life has been released and, oddly, it appears to have been written by one of his cats. Which makes me wonder. Just exactly where does the Pope keep the litter box?
Cute Kitty Pics Alert!
from In the Bookroom

The Craggy Hole in My Heart and The Cat Who Fixed It
from Lesa's Book Critiques by Lesa
Yup. Spot on.

ON TO THE SNARK!

Religion

Florida lawmakers debate offering a Christian license plate
from PewForum.org All News Feeds \ Ok, now. Who the hell thought this was a good idea?

Judge to schools: No Gideon Bibles
from PewForum.org All News Feeds
But what about Joshua Bibles? Or Carlos Santana bibles? Could this be a moment when a ruling was, perhaps, too specific?

I Know I Shouldn't Laugh
from Lorcaloca by Eduardo C. Corral
A Roman Catholic priest who floated off under hundreds of helium party balloons was missing Monday off the southern coast of Brazil.


FASHION
As always, What Not To Crochet has given us the best in fashion advice
Sock! Horror!
from
What Not to Crochet by SB&C

book earrings - how to
from librarian.net by jessamyn


LIBRARYLAND
Yes, this really is important to Librarians. So stop giggling:
Library of Congress Subject Heading Suggestion Blog-a-Thon
from librarian.net by jessamyn

Here's an excellent idea I'm saving for my retirement party which will occur sometime in 2013:
Goodbye, Saying
from A Librarian's Guide to Etiquette by J
"Show your library colleagues how much you will miss them by giving a demonstration and lecture on the Reader's Guide to Periodical Literature as your retirement party speech. Then, ride off into the sunset on your booktruck."

Kids' book explains mommy's plastic surgery
from USATODAY.com Books - Top Stories
And high time, too. I can't tell you how many times a toddler has come up to me with a puzzled look and asked "Why are Mommy's boobies bigger now?"

How-to books make aging a thing of beauty
from USATODAY.com Books - Top Stories
HEY! You saying aging by itself ain't a thinga beauty?

Library anime
from LibrarianInBlack by Sarah Houghton-Jan
"Yes, there is another library-themed anime series: Library War. The Anime News Network links to a commercial and a brief trailer for the series. I love that the series is focused on libraries battling a government that is trying to censor information...true greatness. The series debuted on Japanese television on April 10th and you can already find versions of it for (illegal) download all over the web. Not that I encourage that type of behavior. Oh no."


15 MINUTES OF FAME DEPARTMENT
Miley Cyrus to write her memoirs
from USATODAY.com Books - Top Stories
All 20 pages...

SIGNS OF THE APOCALYPSE
COINCIDENCE????
Book News: Remake of Levin’s Rosemary’s Baby Coming in 2010
from Library Journal - Genre Fiction

Donald Rumsfeld memoir to hit shelves in 2010
from USATODAY.com Books - Top Stories
Donald Rumsfeld, the powerful defense secretary and architect of the Iraq War who left office two years ago as he faced ever-rising ...

IDJITS
Oregon: our laws are copyrighted and you can’t publish them
from http://librarystuff.onlineinc.com/wp-rdf.php by Steven

Things That Make The Day Go Faster

Day 26 - Dead Roach
In a suspicious turn of events, someone has turned off the lights in his corner office. A quick check with a flashlight has revealed that he is still there! I love this place.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

American Idol - April 22

Hey! Anybody nervous much?

Brooke may have bought her ticket home. Shame but she hadn't even tried to cut loose before this and it could be too late. Jason? Oh dear me save me. He can't shake the coffeehouse. But his eyes may save him.

Sayesha was quite good but it may not save her from previous weeks.

Thank You Sir Weber! ARCHULETA OPEN YOUR DANG EYES! That's what's missing. That and really rockin' performance. You gotta have one, kid.

Best this week? Sayesha, David C., and Carly. Thanks for covering up the tats and trying some color.

bottom two: Jason and Brooke

Who will be in the bottom 3:
Sayesha, Brooke and, oh, I'm guessing Carly.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Things That Make The Day Go Faster

Dead Roach - Day 21
Missed a couple of days. Today the thing looks like something that might accidentally miss the litter box.

This is what we mean when we say things have gone all to crap.

Friday, April 18, 2008

American Idol - 4/16/08

Well! I didn't expect Brooke in the bottom 3 so fast! She needs to put some power behind her performance to keep going. A little rockin' or country kickin' thing. Whatever. Maybe a power protest kind of song. Take that light out from behind the piano and hit it, kid! (Note to Jason - your blue eyes aren't going to carry you completely, you need a power thing, too)

Kristy wasn't going to win but I was sorry to see her go. Nice kid. Great improvement.

Special Kudos to David A for the appropriate response to the "which group is the winning group" question. Good playground response to a playground question. BRAVO! Now sweetie, get your eyebrows trimmed and shaped a bit and hit us with some power.

Things That Make The Day Go Faster

Dead Roach - Day 18
Some parts of his legs seem to have broken off and are now lying separately on the carpet beside him.

This is how the world ends: not with a bang but a whimper.
T.S. Eliot (1888 - 1965)

And while we're on good 'ol T.S.:

...At the still point of the turning world. Neither flesh nor fleshless;
Neither from nor towards; at the still point, there the dance is,
But neither arrest nor movement. And do not call it fixity,
Where past and future are gathered. Neither movement from nor towards,
Neither ascent nor decline. Except for the point, the still point,
There would be no dance, and there is only the dance.

Burnt Norton, II, Stanza 2

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Things that make the day go faster

Day 16 - Dead Roach

We are fast approaching "dry summer" here in the Sonoran Desert. That means no rain and very low humidity until sometime in late June. At that point we get a lot of wind and very little rain. But we do also get impressive heat lightning and a touch of humidity.

As dry as it is, you'd think our departed friend's color would be fading. It is, but very slowly. Perhaps that is one of the unspoken perks of having your very own corner office.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

American Idol - 4/15/08

Darned if Jason didn't come out of nowhere tonight and impress me the most. David A did better than last week but he's still being outperformed. And Kristy was great. Never thought I'd be more impressed Jason and Kristy than Brooke and David C.

Perhaps the game is on...

News for David C. and Brooke: The viewers don't know if you picked a hard song or not. They want to be entertained. Both performances were good just...awkward? David C was out of his range. Brooke needs to let loose. Don't lose it now, kids!

So, my bottom three this week?
Carly - flat, uninspiring, clothing still too dark, thanks for covering the tatoos
Sayesha - kinda flat this week. Looked terrific!
and (ouch) David Cook. Song was pitched too low, the performance was shaky, the choice was just not working for him. I disagree with the judges

Who will be in the bottom three?
Carly
Sayesha
and a mystery performer to be named later.

Things that make the day go faster

Day 15 - Dead Roach
Yes, it's still there. It's starting to separate from itself. Kind of like it had been stepped on or brushed aside. Curious.

I happened to glance up at the top of the empty bookshelf in there and noticed for the first time that there is a stapler just randomly sitting on top of the empty bookshelf in a room devoid of all other non-furniture objects. An off-white stapler in stark contrast to the dark shelves. Funny, I never noticed it before.

It's as if someone unlocked the office and placed it there just to see what would happen. I checked the door. It's locked.

Today's musical tribute to our departed friend:

I Fall to Pieces
as sung by Patsy Cline
Written by Harlan Howard and Hank Cochran

I fall to pieces
Each time I see you again
I fall to pieces
How can I be just your friend

You want me to act like weve never kissed
You want me to forget, pretend weve never met
And Ive tried and Ive tried but I havent yet
You walk by, and I fall to pieces

I fall to pieces
Each time someone speaks your name
I fall to pieces
Time only adds to the flame

You tell me to find someone else to love
Someone who'll love me, too, the way you used to do
But each time I go out with someone new
You walk by and I fall to pieces

Monday, April 14, 2008

Things that make the day go faster

Day 14 - Dead Roach
Having finally turned its back to the west, our friend is beginning to resemble nothing more than a piece of brown scrap paper.

Things that make the day go faster

Day 14 - Dead Roach
Having finally turned its back to the west, our friend is beginning to resemble nothing more than a piece of brown scrap paper.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Things that make the day go faster

Dead Roach, Day 13

I had a couple of days off so I was eager to see if the roach was still there and, of course, to post back to you, dear reader.

Today, the roach seems almost himself again. But this is deceptive.

In the process of deterioration, his entire corpose has listed further to port. Or starboard. West anyway. Gravity being what it is, this has caused his waings and other attached parts to slide back together in a semblance of his original form. He also has a ligtening of color.

Being unfamiliar with the decomposition of roaches, I'll be curious to see his next Move

Other News
Had my annual scorpion run in today. One of the nasty looking striped tail I believe. Miss Birdie, as always was determined to meow in my closet last night and Mr. Trout looked concerned. This nearly always tells me something is amiss. So it was no great surprise to see the darn thing wandering around bold as brass today. A quick whack of a shoe dispatched it to its reward. Mr. Trout sniffed the remaining smear and pronounced it good.

I'm fairly sure it came in on a package yesterday. I think i will shell out the $5.00 per package delivery at the local UPS store. Enough is enough. Now if I could only figure out why the random and large ARIZONA BARK SCORPION was doing hanging randomly beside my second floor washer/dryer closet last year...

Thursday, April 10, 2008

American Idol - 4/9/08 - IDOL GIVES BACK!

Nice job, well done, bravo. And seriously folks, let's all fork over some change and get some damn mosquito nets to Africa.

I can't cure aids
I can't rebuild New Orleans
I can fork over a few bucks to save a kid from malaria

And imagine that, including the kids from So You Think You Can Dance in the numbers?

Whaaaa????

Sure took the producers long enough to put two and two together on that! I would like to see some more variety-show-like stuff with old idols and SYTYCD dancers and a few of those that didn't make it. OK, the clogging hip-hop guy. I like him.

And Carrie Underwood's Dress!!!! BRAVO! Real class. Somebody at AI is learning how to style people. Or she has her own now.

Things that make the day go faster

Dead Roach, Day 10
It's looking healthier today. Not that it cares, I suppose. I mean, what could he possibly want for now?

Which brings me to the musical motif du jour
If you have never heard The Roches (yes, pronounced roaches) you might want to give them a listen. Especially good for when you're a woman and you're just kinda mad because, after all, you're just a woman. Who really cares?

Looks like they'll be doing a little thing with Paul Simon later this month. I'd totally like to see that. The commute would kill me, though. So, in their honor, in Paul Simon's honor, in my honor, in the honor of every woman who has just had it up to here and, in memory of the Dead Roach, I give you:

Want Not Want Not
(by Suzzy and Terre Roche)

Want not want not want not

You can take my house away I don't care
You can take my job away I don't care
You can make my money I don't care
Might as well make my boyfriend I don't care

Want not want not want not

You can take my picture I don't care
You can have my attitude I don't care
The limousine I never ride in I don't care
Go ahead fix my wagon I don't care

Want not want not want not

I wish there was a true love
I wish there was a great art
I wish there always was enough

But I'd not want if I were smart

Want not want not want not
Holy mackerel isn't that Schneeschnaw over there
She's got my face on she's got my hair
She took what I had my cupboard bare
It's want she wanted I don't care

How much you got
I got three
You'll probably take it away from me
I seen what happens you'll be sorry
You'll get what I got don't worry

Want not want not want not

Copyright DeShufflin Inc

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

American Idol - 4/8/08

Well, how about that. Good job Kristy. She won me over and is back near the top. In fact, last night she was my top. Everybody else kinda shirked a bit. No, David A. made a surprisingly good recovery as well. Making his hair a little more grown up and hiding his awkwardness behind a piano helped him a lot.

And thank goodness they did something with David Cook's hair! You lost the combover, dude!

Jason: I think the judges and I were listening to two diferent performances. I thought he was flat and a little lost. But what the heck, he'll go through.

My only prediction for this week's elimination is that somehow, Sayesha will be in the bottom three despite her terrific voice. No "sell" no "win." That's the way the idol falls.

Or WILL there be elimination this week? Was there after last year's fundraiser? I don't remember. If I was one of those kids I sure wouldn't be betting on it!

Things that make the day go faster

Day 9 - Roach begins to list to starboard as it sinks slowly into the carpet

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Things that make the day go faster

Dead roach - day 8

A roach in an office has an odd way of decomposing. It falls to pieces. It dries out. No apparent gooshiness. Today it looks like the legs are beginning to break into tiny pieces. The wings are sliding further off the body. And so the mighty roach turns to carpet-dust.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Things That Make The Day Go Faster

Group speculation about how long the dead roach in the locked unused office beside the lunchroom will remain lying in state.

Days in state so far: 7

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Snark-off Time!

C'mon, I've got a migraine and my shoulder is frozen today. Might as well Snark-OFF!



Ok, What Not to Crochet has the craft of the snark down pat. Click the pic for the full snark!


and of course: Hello Kitty
from What Not to Crochet by SB&C

PLA Pop Quiz
from PLA Blog by Michael May...well...this might only be funny to folks in libraryland

ROMANCE IN THE STACKS OR JUST SEX?

“We’re Known for Our Breasts”
from PLA Blog by Erica Sternin becomes even funnier when combined with

“I’ve never seen so many middle-aged white women in one place!”
via PLA Blog by Tony Ross on 3/28/08

I think Erica and Tony need to get a room!

Current Hot Topic in my Denomination:

Who Filed IRS Complaint?
from The United Church of Christ by Rev. Chuck Currie. Isn't this just like asking who farted? You're never going to get a straight answer!

Typo Department

Man Travels Country to Fixe Typo’s
from http://librarystuff.onlineinc.com/wp-rdf.php by Steven. Here's hoping he removes unneeded apostrophes, too!

Ironic filtering block of the week!

We made 10 Reasons the Recession Will Rock Your Love Life!
from librarian.net by jessamyn
Number 4, Library-sex will make a comeback. This is, as I’m sure you know, the good news and the bad news for many of us. [via]

I tried to click the link at work. It's blocked. Of course yesterday it blocked www.belcanto.org, too. Filtering works. Yup. Uh-huh

OOPS! Too late!

Managing Your Online Reputation
from Stephen's Lighthouse by stephen

Handy work advice

Fridays, Casual
from A Librarian's Guide to Etiquette by J
Your library's "Casual Friday" dress code does not give you the license to wear sweatpants to work.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

American Idol - 4/1/08

Well here's my impressions because, honestly America, aren't you all on the edge of your seats waiting to hear from me? Feedburner lies. Thousands are reading. One pixel at a time.

Naw, I'm not delusional

Best tonight, IMHO, Michael, Brooke, David C. and, surprisingly, Jason. No one was perfect. I'm so relieved to see Brooke's hair pulled back a little. They was totally buggin' me. Jason is stepping away from the coffeeshop little by little. He needs to start leaning toward Paul Simon. That's a big, big step. Maybe he's up to it, maybe he isn't.

I wasn't impressed with David A. He's looking younger and more out of depth each week. But he'll go through. Who knows, he could grow out of it. But just now, he's dancing on my last nerve. Pity, because I'm sure he's a nice kid. I think he's been told about his angelic voice so long that he doesn't know any other way to perform. Maturity is needed. Could come out I guess. He's just buggin me, poor kid.

Simon was spot on about Carly's costuming. Gotta go. Knock off the goth, don't be so proud of your tattoos. Lighten your hair.

Kristy and Sayesha did pretty good. Ramiele is just out of her depth.

So, who's in the bottom 3...
Should be David A, Carly, Ramiele

It will be
Ramiele, Sayesha, and, hopefully, Carly but probably Jason

Best April Fools Romance Announcement

Wereducks????? Oh be still my heart!
BIG NEWS

How did I ever live without Smart Bitches, Trashy Books