Monday, October 27, 2008

The Big Snark-Off: Numb-Brain Monday Edition




Elections. Economy. Eeeek. It's enough to turn your brains numb. Which is exactly what has happened to your faithful Booktender. Nothing more is coming in.
Not One Thing More

So I give you the photograph of this week's snark-off winner: Loincloth? (Warning: not quite Child Friendly) from What Not to Crochet by SB&C

And, in a seasonal, zombie-like way, she appears to have a numb brain, too. Or pleading for some. Or high on something because, face it, that's the only way anyone would wear that hideous thing.

MORE SNARKS!
Smart Bitches, Trashy Books has been in rare form lately with Vintage Category Art, and Politics and Photoshop. If you think the pictures are a riot, read the comments!



AND NOW...NUMB-BRAIN SNARKS...
C'mon Ohio Evangelical, if that is your real name, get original. People have been calling the UCC Non-Biblical for decades. Is it too hard to read about what the UCC is all about? Do you get how this belief system stems from the Bible? Oh yeah, you don't read, do you?
Sorry Honey, the election is in the voter's hands. God is way to busy for mere election manipulation. God leaves that to satan.
A Sunni-Shiite battle of the website hackers. I think we have found the solution to loss of life in war. Sure, a few pixels might be damaged. I still think it's better.







Thursday, October 23, 2008

No Response


How are you today?

Everyday. Multiple times during the day. By people who know me and complete strangers I hear "How are you today?" Like you really care.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it's a rhetorical question. But why do we greet one another with a question? Why not a statement? Why not "Good to see you today?" Why not a simple "Hello?"

The question throws me. It never sounds rhetorical to me. It always sounds like a true inquiry. How do I respond? Does the person really want to know that, as usual, I awoke in a groggy state, dazed from pain and feeling inadequate to the day? Really? I think not.

What they want to hear is a lie. They want to hear "Fine, thanks, you?" I've tried substituting "zippy" for that "fine, thanks, you" but it seems to throw my greeting opponent. And, while gratifying, I don't think that's a good thing.

Perhaps the greeting should be a simple flashing of palms to indicate you are not armed. I mean, let's get back to the roots of the thing. Isn't that what greeting was originally about? To show the opponent you were friendly or, at least not armed to the teeth?

I propose the phrase "how are you today" be shelved and only pulled out for occasions where a genuine inquiry as to the state of another is indicated. The doctor's office, checking in on a sick relative, stuff like that. Let's replace it with the hearty wave or a simple flash of each palm.

There it is, my theory, my desire, and my post

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Into the Dark

OK, so maybe I'm just hooked on contemporary romantic suspense. Who cares what my deep dark psychological need is?

In the Dark (Seal Team 12, Book #2) In the Dark by Marliss Melton


My review


rating: 5 of 5 stars
My first Marliss Melton. Now I see why she gets such good reviews in the press. Nice character development. Hints about future storylines. Interaction between the men has a true "man" feel to it. Good pace. Nice romance without endless pages of sex, sex, and more sex. By golly, I recommend it!


View all my reviews.

Monday, October 20, 2008

The Return of the Guttercats

The guttercat is a tough little animal. The guttercat is the gutsy urban version of the traditional cozy, cuddly library-related cat. They get their name from their traditional habitat: the street gutters and storm drains near the library.

Once, herds of guttercats roamed the streets and nearby parks of this library. A cat lady came every day to feed them on the steps of the empty temple next door. The cats spent most of the day either hiding from the desert sun or lounging on the temple steps. Each afternoon the cat lady fed them. She also trapped them for spaying and released them back into their native habitat. She's a good lady.

About half an hour before her usual arrival time, the number of cats lounging on the temple steps would increase. At one point there were 10 regulars seen every day. The cat lady would arrive and they would wait for her to get out the food and then politely swarm the food when it was ready. For all their feral badness, they were rather orderly about it.

Two nearly simultaneous situations nearly made the guttercat an extinct species. First was the arrival of the guttercat's nemesis: the bobcat. We've been in a ten-year drought and all kinds of critters have been arriving from the hills. They are looking for water and, in true survival fashion, go to the lowest points of the valley in search of water and available food.

A year or two ago, the bobcats reached the interstate tunnel under the library. And its service areas. Pretty good cave-dwellings if you're a bobcat. Dark. Lots of hidey holes. No people. No predators. Water. And available food. Rats first, then guttercats.

Our guards go down there with the transportation department dudes to help them check the structure, etc. They saw the skeletons. They saw the bobcats streak away into the darkness. They heard the tiny mews of the baby bobs.

And one night the bobcats streaked away completely. They were spotted heading north on 3rd street at 9:15 pm. With the constant patrols and looky-lous in the tunnels, their lair was no longer safe from people. It was time to move on. So they did.

The greatest blow to the guttercat in recent history was the rededication and remodeling of the empty temple. The guttercats were caught like illegal immigrants and carted off, possibly to Mexico but probably to the Humane Society. Heaven only knows where they are now.

For months the temple remodel went on and on. Adobe was slapped up. Windows replaced. Roofing done. It is nearly complete.

Tonight I noticed something poking stealthily in the sagebrush nearby. A cat. A black cat. A cat who squeezed under the construction fencing surrounding the temple and made itself at home. Near the steps.

I will be watching. This could be the return of that urban native, the guttercat. Herds of guttercats may once again roam the park and lounge on the temple steps. The cat lady will return. Nature will prevail and the guttercat will once again be fruitful and multiply.

Nature works.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Confusing and Ponderable

Random thoughts
rotate
confusion distraction interaction
A dot a dash a grain of rice
Cartoon-mind
makes order
dizzy to the end


*
If viewers like to see celebrities play poker do they also want to see celebrities play Yahtzee?
*
Was Gustav Mahler a bridge between 19th and 20th century in music or merely a continuation of the 19th century?
*
Does my cat really see something over there or is he just messing with me?
*
Was Singing in the Rain really one of the best movie musicals of all time or just an affable piece of schmaltz?
*
Is my monitor dying?
*
Am I manic or simply focused?
*
Does HGTV give viewers unreal expectations about what their homes should look like, what their lives should be?
*
Do I know what heather must look like and what a moor must be?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Must...stop...reading...

I wonder if this romantic suspense bacchanalia is really my subconscious telling me something?

Crazy Kisses (Steele Street #4) Crazy Kisses by Tara Janzen


My review


rating: 4 of 5 stars
More reality-straining fun from Steele Street. Introducing some new characters and adding a touch of the Dickensian, this was a fun, fast-paced read. The characters are well-defined and the description of the cold of Denver in the winter made my toes cold!


View all my reviews.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Big Snark-Off!

Yes, it's that time again. Judgement Day...no...Snark-Off! I thought it was the day after Judgement Day there for a minute. There was a guy outside the library door yesterday holding a piece of notebook paper filled with writing. At random intervals he would cheerfuly shout "Judgement Day!"

So you can so how that could be confusing.

On to the Snarks!

There's a lot of funny stuff out there on teh interwebs. One of my favorites is Failblog. Definitely worth subscribing to in your reader. And don't forget yer Cheezburgers!




This is a handy warning to librarians everywhere, and you know who you are: Meetings, Filibustering in
from A Librarian's Guide to Etiquette by J
"By learning Robert's Rules of Order and enforcing them in library-related meetings, a good librarian can act as parliamentarian and either a) learn to filibuster bad ideas and delay implementation with procedural motions, second readings, and votes or b) be totally obnoxious and get un-invited from future meetings."

BLEEEECH!

New Bible has a 'green' theme
from USATODAY.com Books - Top Stories

Green Wiki
from LibrarianInBlack by Sarah Houghton-Jan

What part of I'm Sick Of Green did you people not get?

Religion

The camp that 'cures' homosexuality
from PewForum.org All News Feeds Good luck with that, ya morons!

Yoga at NY high school causes stress among critics
from PewForum.org All News Feeds And here I thought yoga was supposed to release stress. I suppose using magick will be stressful next.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

More of what I'm Reading

Show No Mercy (Black Ops Series, Book #1) Show No Mercy by Cindy Gerard


My review


rating: 4 of 5 stars
I decided to start in the middle of the series with this one just to see if it was truly something that order didn't matter. Yes and No. The filling-in of the storyline was a bit annoying. It would have been more fun to start at the beginning of the series. Still, it was ok to start in the middle.



This book is Violent. I would not recommend it for the squeamish. It does serve as a decent platter from which to serve the story and character development. The character development is excellent as is the growing relationship between the characters. I even caught a whiff of the men's comraderie that was reminiscent of Brockmann's Troubleshooter series.



Fast-paced and with moments of true romance. I think I will try a few more of the series.




View all my reviews.

What I'm Reading

The Contemporary Romantic Suspense Bacchanalia Continues!

Breakwater (Mira Romantic Suspense) Breakwater by Carla Neggers


My review


rating: 3 of 5 stars
Apparently this is a book in a series. I wish Negger's website listed them chronologically in order instead of the reverse. Fortunately the filling-in from previous stories was not too bad and the book could be read on its own.



Wasn't a great book but it wasn't very bad either. The setup for the badguys was a bit cliche. It almost had a traditional gothic feel as the cottage and the Breakwater compound were a bit isolated. It's also unclear, to the heroine, who the good guys and the bad guys really are.



The most confounding part of the book was the time factor. It seems people can arrive at the small town in minutes. And yet the drive from Washington, DC to this small town is a lot longer. Odd author choice.



Enjoyable enough for a pleasant afternoon or two. I'll try a couple more in the series to see if they are better.


View all my reviews.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Testing

This is only a test. Trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong on the new facebook

Monday, October 06, 2008

Bicycle Shorts Warning


Seriously, you'd think this would be a no-brainer.

I was at the grocery store yesterday and stuck behind this guy in bicycle shorts. I might have been able to live with it if he had a longer shirt on. But no. His t-shirt ended just below the waistband of his bicycle shorts, leaving his fine ass outlined in skin-tight bicycle shorts.

Yes, it was fine. Especially for a man who, unbelievably, was even older than I.

But still, do I want to look at that in a grocery store? Do I want to spend my time in line thinking of ways NOT to look there? Do I want to spend my time praying that he doesn't turn around to display whatever codpiece a man wears when wearing bicycle shorts? Do I need to worry if I'm standing far enough back to avoid any unfortunate smells that might be lingering after a bike ride?

And the fear, dear Ceiling-Cat, the fear. Do I need to be worrying about what will happen to those shorts should an unfortunate gaseous emission appear? What if they're OLD bicycle shorts? What if the stitching starts to disintegrate in front of my eyes? What if I see more of his butt and butt-muscle than either of us ever anticipated?

So listen up you bicyclers. Rock on with your hobby and the wearing of bicycle shorts when you indulge in said hobby. Just take a minute to change before you go waltzing into your neighborhood grocery store, ok?