Monday, October 06, 2008

Bicycle Shorts Warning

Seriously, you'd think this would be a no-brainer.

I was at the grocery store yesterday and stuck behind this guy in bicycle shorts. I might have been able to live with it if he had a longer shirt on. But no. His t-shirt ended just below the waistband of his bicycle shorts, leaving his fine ass outlined in skin-tight bicycle shorts.

Yes, it was fine. Especially for a man who, unbelievably, was even older than I.

But still, do I want to look at that in a grocery store? Do I want to spend my time in line thinking of ways NOT to look there? Do I want to spend my time praying that he doesn't turn around to display whatever codpiece a man wears when wearing bicycle shorts? Do I need to worry if I'm standing far enough back to avoid any unfortunate smells that might be lingering after a bike ride?

And the fear, dear Ceiling-Cat, the fear. Do I need to be worrying about what will happen to those shorts should an unfortunate gaseous emission appear? What if they're OLD bicycle shorts? What if the stitching starts to disintegrate in front of my eyes? What if I see more of his butt and butt-muscle than either of us ever anticipated?

So listen up you bicyclers. Rock on with your hobby and the wearing of bicycle shorts when you indulge in said hobby. Just take a minute to change before you go waltzing into your neighborhood grocery store, ok?

1 comment:

zirelda said...

This is funny Booktender. Just flat out funny.