Monday, August 17, 2009

The Big Snark-Off: Pregnant Anticipation Edition


Here is a brief summary of why you should click, and CLICK NOW, to read this review:

"Two of my family members have been by to check on me. The dog is now resting on my feet in case I need comfort, and the cat is in my lap. When the phone rang, my mother thought I was horribly upset about something, and I started laughing all over again."
If that doesn't convince you, consider these soundbites from the review itself:
" I know when I want to kidnap someone on the down-low, I hop in my van PLASTERED WITH MY CHURCH LOGO in order to do it."




And these winners from the gracious author:

"My original title was Pregnesia-The Story of A Pregnant Princess with Amnesia Who Lusts For An Ex-Navy Seal Turned Sheik Cowboy.

"Stay tuned for my next blockbuster - Virgin Bride With Secret Babies Wants A Cop who Rides The Range"

But here's the kicker:
The stupid title works! It is so memorable that our Fiction specialist at work actually remembered it after the hundreds of titles he flips through each day. Further, many members of the bitchery are buying it for the chance to actually own a book with the title "Pregnesia."


Libraryland Department

Awful Library Books has been on a roll lately:
Teacher Spanks Johnny
From anonymous submitter:
“Being a teacher myself, I just HAD to have this book. Empty threats are no more in my classroom! Not after a quick reference to page 18 in the chapter titled Force Used on Pupil By Teacher where it states that “five blows with a ping-pong paddle is not unreasonable force“.

And thoseblows are why we need this man.

Moving into Manhood
via Awful Library Books by marykelly48 on 8/10/09
Moving into Manhood

"...Sexual health information is a bit vague and sketchy. There were a couple of nice pencil drawings some basic sex parts. Dr Bauer does warn of mixed marriages and girls who are fast."

Save us ceiling-cat! Save us!

Dr. Bauer is, fortunately, not the only person out there looking out for the health of our nation's young people.

Oh, God, no... not again. Not another migraine. Ugh, I can feel it coming on, feel those demons cavorting on my cranium. But that doesn't really describe the agonizing ache - feels more like pins pushing through my pineal gland or...or...(fuck, this hurts) thorns thrusting through my thalamus. Or serpents slithering through my cerebellum. Oh, sweet bejeebus, make it stop! It feels like ballerinas pirouetting en pointe and executing perfect arabesques on my parietal lobe. Yes, that's what it is! Tiny dancers dashing my desire to live. I... need... relief!

I've found a boatload of wonderful sites that have increased my snark-wonder to an all-time high. I share them via my feed to the right. I also have a lot of fodder for the Dork Report and because of my blasted liberal-biased righteous need to share.
Feel free to browse my feed. I just can't blog them all!

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