Saturday, November 07, 2009

The Big Snark-Off! Cautionary Tale Edition


My goodness, look at Susie all grown-up!


She gets the best grades of the whole class in Home-Ec. Surely she'll make some man a fine wife someday.

That nice neighbor boy, Kenny, is always coming over to grab Susie's cupcakes!


Math Anxiety! via Awful Library Books by marykelly48 on 10/24/09
Mom is so proud of little Kenny! Good grades and he's dating that sweet little Susie from church.

Their faith and common sense will surely keep them safe from harm throughout their lives. Praise God!


Coffee, Tea or Me?
via Awful Library Books by marykelly48 on 10/12/09

Susie's Dad is just skipping with glee as he sees his little girl growing up. Previously only interested in cooking and playing dress-up with her cat she has just started dating that cute little boy from next door.

That Kenny is just dreamy in a hot nerdy way. His interest in hot rod safety speaks volumes about his character. I'd trust my girl with him any day!

Teen Wheels via Awful Library Books by hhibner on 11/5/09
Look! See Kenny's car. Kenny has a new car. Kenny is so excited he's going throw a rod. Now he and Susie can have all the privacy they need on a date!

Kenny: "Hey babe, can't wait to shine up the hood and extend the antenna so we can make out in the backseat tonight after the big game!"

Susie: "Here's the key to my chastity belt! Let's get it on!

When duct tape and plastic aren’t enough…
via Awful Library Books by marykelly48 on 10/5/09

There was just one little thing left behind that night. And that thing just got bigger and bigger.

Oh why did they skip school the day "family preparedness" was discussed in health class!

How could they know that Saran Wrap could not save them from impending disaster!



Cheap Dates via Awful Library Books by marykelly48 on 11/3/09

One teenage pregnancy, a mortgage, chronic unemployment, and a
cretaceous divorce later, Ken struggles to get back into the dating game while Susie chuckles over his every bonehead move.

He was too cheap to buy condoms back then and he hasn't changed a bit!



But Susie was not left untouched by tragedy. Oh no. A few years later, suffering from empty-nest syndrome, aging, and crippling alcoholism, Susie turns to the two things that went right in her life.


Kittens and Home Ec.


Years later, Kenny and Susie met in an alley outside the homeless shelter. Upon sight each was overcome with rage at how their lives had ended up. Shivs were drawn, blood was spilled, and they killed each other

The End














































































































































































































Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Fire, Ice, and Polar Bears

Fire and Ice (Buchanan, #7) Fire and Ice by Julie Garwood


My rating: 3 of 5 stars
Something is wrong here. I'm not enjoying Garwood's last three books the way I have every other book she has written. I'm not giving up on her, not by a long shot. Something is just off here.

I think maybe the books are getting more caught up in the mystery/suspense portion of the genre and less involved in the romance department. Sophie and Jack seem to wash around in a flood of other characters. The romance appears and it just isn't quite fleshed out.

I suspect character development was neglected a bit. Character development was rich in her other novels. Other than his interest in the Food Channel, we don't find out a whole lot about the "real" Jack. Information is given, it just doesn't stick. Sophie's interactions with her girlfriends are real. Her interaction with her co-workers and others is not heart-felt. They seem to be almost by wrote.

I do give points for Garwood's interwoven story about the mad scientists. Totally cool. Suspense and then an adrenaline rush. The mystery surrounding their actions and the full account of their transgressions is revealed very satisfactorily at the end.

I'll soldier on with Ms. Garwood. I suspect this slump, too, will pass. I think she is still appealing to many readers and look forward to seeing where she goes next with her stories.

Would I recommend this book to a Mad Scientist? Possibly. He may like a feeling of unity with the scientists in this book.

Would I recommend this book to Michele Obama? Naw. She has less time to read than the average person and I'm sure she'd like to spend it on things that are just a bit better. Unless she's really a Mad Scientist in disguise.

Would I recommend this book to a man in a bear suit? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Bears do not fare well in this book.

View all my reviews >>