Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Booktender 2010: The August That Was

OK, frankly, I don't remember much about August.  I was sick.  Then I was on vacation (Hi Mom!)  Then I was sick again.  I'd tell you that I was actually a bit sick while on vacation, but I don't want to worry Mom. 

Ooops.   Sorry Mom

If you have read the news lately, you know that Arizona is one tough state. We got beheadings in the desert. We got terror babies. We got rattlesnakes-get-in-free night at Diamondbacks games.

We got a sheriff that ain't afraid a no Homeland Security.  We got a Governor that ain't afraid a no Constitution. 

Most importantly, we got shit for gun laws.  Yep, you all can mosey on over here to the wild west and conveniently carry your weapon either in the open or concealed.   In a bar or wherever your destination may be.  Loaded.  We don't pay no nevermind.

Guns have, in fact, become extremely fashionable with the wimmens hereabout.  Let's take a look:

Here we see Annette.  She just returned from a trip from San Diego and what a trip it was!  She and Frankie broke up.  But that didn't get our girl down, no sir.

Upon her return to the state of sanity known as Arizona.  Annette picked herself up, dusted herself off, and headed straight for rifle range

Take that Frankie!  And that!  And that!

While feisty, a good Arizona woman also knows her place.  After all, Annette wasn't really using the breakup for a fun excursion to the shootin' gallery.  Oh no. 

Annette was angry at herself.  She'd taken all the time to doll up and prance around and Frankie still hadn't given her the lovin' she was lookin' for. 

Belatedly, Annette realized that what Frankie really wanted, and what she so desperately wanted to give, was a thorough demonstration of her housewifely skills. 

I'm here to state that this state is wild about the state of our guns.  We polish them, we pamper them, we rock them in cradles like babies.  When someone protests something we disagree with, we like to make sure they can see the size of what we're carryin'

But this is not to say Arizona is an unsafe place!  No sir.  We do have our priorities.  Keepin' our guns all hid away from the light of day just isn't one of them.

And that's my state of the State statement for august.

         Happy Trails!


finnime said...

Maybe all that sun and snake oil has distilled into an epic hallucinogen. Or there's a mad rush to out-Texas Texas. I'm glad you are there to help temper the culture, Bookie. Get well. They and we need you.

Anonymous said...


Great illustrative photos. Funnily-incisive-truthfully-extravaganza!

Would you allow me to re-post this on TWSA???

I'm beginning to write again and will be in touch soonest.

Thanks for being on earth.

Anonymous said...
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BBC said...

A little target practice is always good.